Kim Jong II — He Dead.

Kim Jong Southpark picture

OK — how creepy is it that Kim Jong’s been dead for a couple years now, and the North Korean government is marching lil’ Kim Jong body doubles around in an attempt to fool everyone?

It’s even better that since he’s died, world leaders willing to meet with “Kim Jong” have been cutting deals with an impostor.

I guess Kim Jong always worried about getting whacked, so he hired some dudes that looked like him (don’t all North Koreans look alike anyway?!) and, in some cases, had the body doubles undergo plastic surgery in order to better resemble His Highness.

And just when people think he’s really dead, the North Korean government marches one of their Kim Jongs on stage to quell the masses.

I’ve always wanted a body double, and now I think I’m gonna hire one and march him around much the same way. Thank you for your inspiration, Kim Jong II!

Just think! I could just stay home while “Billy” shoots for Blacks on Blondes and Manojob and Eat Some Ass and The Dick Suckers. Better yet, no more traffic hassles or crowded places to deal with…just send “Billy” out to take care of all my silly errands!

And it’s perfect for those risky gloryhole scenes, too. No more worries about getting busted by the cops — that’s “Billy’s” problem now!!

Rumors abound, too, about Kim’s very favorite movies…which happen to be (surprise!) dirty ones. So, in addition to his complete “Desperate Housewives” library and his collection of 20,000+ mainstream (Western) movies, Kim’s got a whole bunch o’ porn, too.

I wonder how that worked when he was alive? When I jerked to porn, I was kinda embarrassed when I went to the video store and handed the clerk all the stuff that made my Freak Flag fly. What did Kim do? As his Secretary of Defense to order the dirty movies in his name? Was there a person who didn’t exist in his cabinet, and all the porn was bought in his name?

Oh — now that he’s dead, I should say Kim Jong had a huge porn collection. I wonder if The Powers To Be let Kim’s body doubles jerk to porn?

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