A Few of My Favorite Things, Lately.

Annette Schwartz

I took the day off from making smut today, and I gotta tell ya, I needed it. I think I’ve shot 25 scenes in the last 2 weeks, and I’m so burnt out I can’t even think straight. Ask anyone who’s hung around me lately.

I did some of my very favorite things today: first, I slept in. On a scale of 1 – 10, sleeping in scores a 9.5.

Then I went to my very favorite coffee shop and enjoyed a super-yummy latte with my very favorite friend Adrianna Nicole. We go here often, and every time we’re there we love to gossip and gossip and gossip, mostly about the porn industry. Today’s topic was Sasha Grey and her new “agency’, which, we feel, is nothing more than way to find her boyfriend a job. On a scale of 1 – 10, gossiping scores an 8; gossiping about Sasha Grey scores closer to a 9.

After coffee is was on to The Flea Market. I fucking love flea markets. If I could, I’d marry one. Why not? I invited Adrianna to go, but she had an anal scene today, and it takes her a mighty long time to clean her ass correctly so no doodie winds up on the floor. On a scale of 1 – 10, flea markets pull a “Nadia Com─âneci” — a perfect 10.

Here’s a list of my scores today: Michael Kirby’s book “Happenings” about the NYC art scene circa 1966; a 10″ x 13″ original black and white photo of Ringo Starr and Peter Sellers from The Magic Christian; three LP records — The Box Tops’ “Non Stop”, Miles Davis’s “Sketches of Spain” (an original issue Columbia Six-Eye), and a very minty copy of “The Batman Theme as played by The Markets”; and three super-kooky “hip-pocket” records from The Doors, Van Morrison , and The Fallen Angels; and finally, 100 slides I found in the bottom of a box from a 1961 family vacation to Mount Shasta.

I got it all for about 60 bucks. Not a bad day!

While I’m spouting off on shit I really dig, here’s a few of my favorite things, lately:

Michel Gondry: this dude is a fucking genius. I mean that. He’s 2008’s Picasso, James Joyce, and Kubrick all rolled up into one. People will discuss his work 100 years from now. He’s so talented it makes me sick. I don’t care if it’s a Levi’s ad, or a Weezer video, or one of his “stories”, no one makes better movies than Michel. Not even me. Here’s a YouTube of My Favorite Director In The Whole Wide World solving a Rubik’s cube with his nose.

Beulah: a couple dudes who worked in a mail room in San Francisco around 1995 started a band. I wish I woulda known it back then, when I lived there. I’ve listed to “Yoko” more times than I want to admit.

A Langer’s #19 Special: Pastrami, swiss, and slaw with Russian Style Dressing. It’s the best meat I’ve ever put in my mouth, and that’s saying a lot. And whatever you’re thinking right now, No Way Am I Gay.

Annette Schwartz: I want to make Annette my wife. I want to move to Munich and eat bratwurst and drink beer with Annette. I want Annette to teach me German just so I can coo sweet nothings in her ear while we make beautiful music. I want to hold hands with Annette and stroll the grounds of the Nymphenburg Castle while we discuss the names of our future children. I’m gonna write all sorts of love poems and send them to Annette so she dumps her current dude for me. I’m gonna call my mom and have her talk to Annette so Annette herself can break the news: I’m moving to Germany to be Annette Schwartz’s love slave.

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