Or is she?

A while back, I shot a newbie named Summer Verona. Barely-legal. Incredible tits. Nice ass. She wound up as Dick Sucker #83 and jerked off our stunt cock for Manojob.

Brian Surewood had referred her to me. Actually, Surewood had given me the number of her “manager”, and I set things up with him. The Manager wasn’t really a suitcase pimp…not in the traditional sense. Most suitcase pimps are either knuckle-head ex-cops or mischievous Negroes; Summer’s manager was neither. He claimed to be a photographer, and he shot for all the stroke mags, and had been — for something like 30 years. The Manager was an OK dude, and he told me he was a “friend” of Summer’s, and that she wanted to do porn, and he would be documenting the whole she-bang for Cherry magazine. All in all our day went well, so I booked Summer again.

I shot her a few weeks later, and watched — in awe — as Ruth Blackwell converted her.

Then, I forgot about her for a while, until she turned up on The Howard Stern show. I’ve been listening to Stern, on and off, since I lived in Texas. Howard’s always got an angle, whether it’s Anal Ring Toss or setting someone’s Grandma on The Sybian. Summer’s deal for Howard was that her “father” waxed her pussy before she’d do a porno scene.

As I listened, her “father” — who I assumed was The Manager I met months earlier — didn’t sound like The Manager at all. I also had to give Summer kudos for dreaming up a story as dumb as “My Dad Waxes My Pussy Before My Porno Scenes” to land on Stern and promote whatever she had to promote. I secretly hoped she’d mention either Manojob or The Dick Suckers; of course, she didn’t.

But The Manager didn’t really sound like The Manager. I called The Manager as I listened to Stern, but no answer. I listened and she did her gig and that was that…and again, I forgot all about Summer Verona.

Gia Paloma watches a lot of bad television in between make-up jobs on set, and the other day it was Tyra Banks. It’s usually Oprah, but that particular day it was Tyra. I can’t confirm this, but I’m sure they’re not on the same time slot, which would be the only reason Gia would be watching Tyra instead of Oprah.

Oprah, Tyra. Tyra, Oprah!

Guess who was on Tyra?

It was Summer alright, and this time she wasn’t a porn star — but a whore. And sure enough, there was dad, supporting her career choice, and waxing her snatch before she’d turn a trick.

And I was right — The Father wasn’t The Manager. I’m quite sure her The Father isn’t her dad, but who knows.

Who cares?

Tyra did her best to humiliate Summer in the same passive-aggressive way The Media loves to harangue people they don’t see eye-to-eye with, and sure enough, before it was all said and done, Summer was in tears.

But damn, can that girl promote herself, or what?

Oh, Summer’s “boyfriend” was on Tyra’s set, and he proposed to her…after letting Tyra’s audience know he didn’t like her whoring ways, and he wanted her to stop selling herself and spend the rest of her days with him.

She accepted.

And I’m quite sure she’ll follow through with that promise, until she needs money, or he loses his job, or both…and then, that sweet, teen, pink Summer Verona pussy will, once again, cost $400 (or so) an hour to bang.

Which is about the same price a decent lawyer will charge you — but less that a good CPA.

I wonder if I can get her to mention Manojob or The Dick Suckers when she returns to work?